ianbeef

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Offline (the 08/23/2015 at 6:52pm)

ianbeef

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 September 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 882
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ianbeef : Ask what you want to know.

ianbeef's page activity

Visits<b>sheepcart89</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:56pm<b>mc822</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:10am<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 1:37am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:24am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:53pm<b>pippa247</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 6:27am<b>brid</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 2:37pm<b>TheDinoBot</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:43pm<b>JustCauseRalph</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:23am<b>Psychotique</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:18pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:34am<b>TiddlesWiddles</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 11:45am<b>stephanieangelin</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 11:58am<b>erin55378</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:59am<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:40pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 7:01pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:33pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:21am

Fucked!<b>TheDinoBot</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:43am

ianbeef's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ianbeef's badges

ianbeef's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

by blue / 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML

by BirthdayFail / 08/14/2012 at 3:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML

by anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 9:26am / Lebanon / Transportation

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

by strangebeans / 07/25/2012 at 1:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

by needurlove / 04/15/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

by agony / 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

by anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy