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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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iamphil

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iamphil
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 May 1983 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 508
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About iamphil : Two parts awesome,
One part sauce.

iamphil's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iamphil's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (170867) - you deserved it (52080)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML

#616286 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (52497) - you deserved it (3517)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:06am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (12019) - you deserved it (54629)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (89612) - you deserved it (5419)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

#570871 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (71714) - you deserved it (4145)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (82867) - you deserved it (35686)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (373061) - you deserved it (413141)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (234055) - you deserved it (16154)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179 (702)

I agree, your life sucks (569230) - you deserved it (51275)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (708)

I agree, your life sucks (349242) - you deserved it (23634)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

#19556 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (1147) - you deserved it (17289)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (46794)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

#7767 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (155574) - you deserved it (6634)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)



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