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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (53423)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6874) - you deserved it (83039)
On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (84147)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56671) - you deserved it (138538)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17400) - you deserved it (86697)
On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32432) - you deserved it (68658)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)
Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7588) - you deserved it (96563)
On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73195) - you deserved it (155164)
On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
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