About iSpasticFantasti : I am just me, hardly accepted, rarely accepting and constantly aspiring. :)
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iSpasticFantasti's favorite FMLs
Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML
by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by piper182 / 09/29/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
by Perdito_Coño / 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by DolphinGirl369 / 06/07/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by chickenmcnuggetgirl / 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Meath) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy
by Brook / 02/26/2013 at 3:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…