About iSatori_11 : Music is my true religion.
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Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15706) - you deserved it (20241)
On 05/03/2011 at 8:15am - love - by cbolig -
Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (17857)
On 05/02/2011 at 5:30pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (12284)
On 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by beaverless - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12953) - you deserved it (57189)
On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (3305)
On 05/02/2011 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom told my abusive ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up with 5 days ago, that he is always welcome at my house. She "misses him". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39530) - you deserved it (2510)
On 05/01/2011 at 9:05pm - love - by exnotwelcome19 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12484) - you deserved it (39614)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (3012)
On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45785) - you deserved it (4519)
On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (15533)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm - health - by Laci (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (5472)
On 04/30/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (39624)
On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (2564)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (2277)
On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (31166)
On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -
Monday 20 May 2013
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