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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7489) - you deserved it (92303)
On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (6034)
On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (1785)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (52618)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462383) - you deserved it (574375)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56347) - you deserved it (15766)
On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83101) - you deserved it (4514)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5087) - you deserved it (47723)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19414) - you deserved it (6926)
On 01/23/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by Sleep Walking - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5078) - you deserved it (21835)
On 01/16/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by Gob - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
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