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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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iKaite

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iKaite
  • Town/Country : Inverness, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 November 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 83852
  • Number of comments : 298
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 67 posted

About iKaite : I read far too much FMLife and do way too much gymnastics. I believe there is beauty in everything and that people do not look close enough to see it. It annoys me when I moderate FML's and people lie about them. And I don't believe any FML that contains someone shitting themselves, shitting on someone else or cumming on someone else.

iKaite's last visitors

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iKaite's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iKaite's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a phonecall from my son's school. Apparantly, for the past week he has been telling everyone 'mummy works as a drug dealer.' I'm a pharmacist. FML

#7353337 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (2050)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10377) - you deserved it (28887)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (98518)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (66723)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

#4454035 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (6441) - you deserved it (47001)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke my mother's Tiffany lamp from the 1920's. Practically crying, I raced onto the computer to try to find one to order before she comes back in three weeks. The lamp is worth over twelve thousand dollars, and the only way I'm getting one is if I lived 90 years ago. FML

#4255235 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (16620)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:24pm - money - by someexplanationrequired (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50423) - you deserved it (10392)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (91547) - you deserved it (2479)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (8651) - you deserved it (37169)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (41613)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (78221) - you deserved it (3563)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)