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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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iCookie

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iCookie
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 March 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 6846
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iCookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (33530)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (41994) - you deserved it (4237)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

#2647799 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (8103)

On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (6003)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

#2131299 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (48320)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

#1485215 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (81567) - you deserved it (11213)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (43126) - you deserved it (13378)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

#924163 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (87607) - you deserved it (2863)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879 (352)

I agree, your life sucks (10415) - you deserved it (162148)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States