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hurley12's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by Iskylite / 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by none / 08/22/2013 at 12:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy
Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML
by mycar / 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by LizzyJones / 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML
by CrappyDay / 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm / United States / Kids
by TheRoad42 / 08/20/2013 at 8:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML
by anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 3:08am / United States / Health
Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML
by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act… Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked… Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for…
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…