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  • Number of visits : 8390
  • Number of comments : 390
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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hurley12's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML


I agree, your life sucks (52728) - you deserved it (8692)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44848) - you deserved it (3858)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (17546)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (6832)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (4353)

On 03/21/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19305) - you deserved it (49323)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50688) - you deserved it (18580)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (24488)

On 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by FUUUUCK (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50661) - you deserved it (7968)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48042) - you deserved it (3386)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53672) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59026) - you deserved it (29361)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59786) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

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