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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (4429)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (19930)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (2651)
On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (3330)
On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (29287)
On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38098) - you deserved it (1903)
On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34672) - you deserved it (5257)
On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States
Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7932) - you deserved it (49299)
On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33344) - you deserved it (4024)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40324) - you deserved it (1998)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36842) - you deserved it (7825)
On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (5209)
On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (3647)
On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26983) - you deserved it (4282)
On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (2260)
On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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