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  • Number of visits : 8695
  • Number of comments : 393
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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hurley12's favorite FMLs

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47310) - you deserved it (1922)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (3378)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26912) - you deserved it (7506)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (32268)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (4957)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6907) - you deserved it (55451)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12299) - you deserved it (37607)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML


I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (2946)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36815) - you deserved it (2829)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26385) - you deserved it (2447)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (6216)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (4541)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34433) - you deserved it (5354)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26409) - you deserved it (1843)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

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