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hurley12's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:17am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
by hakuna matata / 10/31/2012 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML
by onlyme / 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm / United States / Money
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by MIND BLOWING / 10/20/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by scarred_sibling / 10/15/2012 at 8:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
by bucollegegirl / 10/08/2012 at 10:07am / United States / Intimacy
by justabitembarrassed / 10/07/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by disgusted / 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML
by hannah / 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm / New Zealand (Marlborough) / Love
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one the frames of my glasses.… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…