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hurley12's favorite FMLs
Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2015 at 6:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Peter Steele love / 10/17/2015 at 8:49pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy
Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML
by ForeverAlone / 09/22/2015 at 5:40pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health
by Partners / 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by onionrings / 06/07/2015 at 8:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by bonehead69 / 05/31/2015 at 3:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML
by mobigomo / 05/27/2015 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML
by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML
by tumblrinas_at_work / 05/02/2015 at 4:04am / United States (California) / Work
Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Sarah / 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love