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Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to friends . I mimd a punch behind a grl walking past to show technique and control, but she must have seen me . She turnd around and kickd me in the stomach . To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine . FML
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of mah company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were amused. FML
Today... I was in the hospital with rib injurie after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said... "Well... you'll probably feel lyk you've been hit by a truck 4 ahile." Everyone laughed... except me. When I said he was being insensitive... he replied... "Calm down... I'm just ribbing you." real FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, an trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today , I Had To Collect Mah Daughter From The Hospital. Her Boyfriend Was Even More Upset Than She Was , Cuz His IPhone's Screen Was Damaged Beyond Repair When The Doctor Pulled It Out Of Mah Daughter's Vagina. FML
Today, I was at te supermarket ceckout. I anded over ma items, wic included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. Te security guard standing beside te casier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; se's flowing from every ole!" FML
Today, wile I was walking downtown a omeless person askd me for a dollar!! I tougt it would be funny to wave te dollar in is face an taunt im!! I guess e tougt it would be funny to stab me in te leg wit a pencil!! mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015