About hunteer9 : I'm just a bro from Alaska that likes reading FMLs to brighten his day.
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hunteer9's favorite FMLs
by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
by Med / 11/13/2012 at 7:02am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Love
by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm / United States / Animals
by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
by me / 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by cero_kewl / 03/05/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
by eakthegeek / 01/10/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Intimacy
by liLbob6598 / 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by mortifiedgrandchild / 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…