About hungry_robot : I can't cut it as an androgynous person with short hair, so I'm gonna leave it long again. Hello new goal of being a walking mop.
Also, would have remained in lurkdom had there not been super entertaining FML's to save. You guys always make my day :)
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (2835)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was called an 'inconsiderate scum bucket' by my neighbour because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (1549)
On 11/28/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Exhausted - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50261) - you deserved it (3493)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (2897)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -
Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38861) - you deserved it (1903)
On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10059) - you deserved it (31143)
On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (1356)
On 10/29/2011 at 7:02am - animals - by Noname - United States
Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your f*cking car and get the f*ck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10333) - you deserved it (23298)
On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)
I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (3970)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by The fat and the ugly (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (5964)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11067) - you deserved it (30371)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (5192)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37730) - you deserved it (2941)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/24/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by lonely - United States (California)
Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (2932)
On 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by fuglyphotographer (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
