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humanpunchline

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 569
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>DoctorWho4TW</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:15pm

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humanpunchline's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34655) - you deserved it (3804)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55390) - you deserved it (4062)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42646) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45493) - you deserved it (4722)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62681) - you deserved it (4598)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

#20951207
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44445) - you deserved it (3151)

On 11/09/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Falling off the wagon - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44922) - you deserved it (4203)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45083) - you deserved it (4113)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42636) - you deserved it (3863)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43632) - you deserved it (8828)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54508) - you deserved it (6900)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27187) - you deserved it (53937)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)



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