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humanpunchline

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humanpunchline

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  • Title : Miss
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 969
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>DoctorWho4TW</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:15pm

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humanpunchline's favorite FMLs

Today I had to tell McDonald's that mah 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (12733)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

I realizd how bad mah depression has gottenhen I caught myself fantasizing about suicidehile having sex with mah husband!! FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54354) - you deserved it (6508)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, ma grandkid went around ma ouse claiming items to inerit. FML

#20984796
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50769) - you deserved it (3799)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet cuz my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and tey started talking about giving blowjobs to teir "boyfriends" . Wen I got mad at tem and told tem tey souldn't be tinking of tat stuff, tey said I was just pissed 'cause I aven't gotten laid . fat FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48571) - you deserved it (4542)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT I TAKE LONG ENOUGH SHOWERS 4 MAH BOYFRIEND TO SLEEP WITH MAH SISTER AND PUTTED EVERYTHING BACK TO NORMAL BEFORE I GET OUT. I FOUND OUTHEN I NEEDED MORE SHAMPOO THAT WAS IN A SHOPPING BAG IN MAH ROOM. MEGA FML

#20984084
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65110) - you deserved it (5406)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, a lady told me that I should suehoever screwd up mah "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

#20983819
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39339) - you deserved it (2829)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, ma 6-year-old daugter got mad at me fir not buying er yet anoter expensive doll. I ad to pull er away, and se started screaming fir elp. Te next ting I know, anoter sopper puts me in a cokeold and calls fir security, allile ma daugter smrks. fat FML

#20983816
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48698) - you deserved it (5680)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Taday wife made me a Sex Rewards Cart,ere I get points by doing cores an suc, an 50 points gets me some action. Se refuses to even look at me if I aven't earned te points, an is contemplating sleeping alone in te guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60812) - you deserved it (19045)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday... my usband lerened tat if e asks me a questionile I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be ( Yes ). Incidentally... I now ave a new cat. FML

Today, mah fifteen year old son decidd to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real!! She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie"!! FML

#20983553
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42726) - you deserved it (6415)

On 12/07/2013 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today my boyfriend and I took a nap fully clothd. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scard that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. mega FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51143) - you deserved it (5333)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51102) - you deserved it (8395)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

TODAY, MA GIRLFRIEND AND I FINALLY WATCED TOY STORY 3; I ENDED UP CRYING WEN TE TOYS ALMOST DIE . AFTER TE MOVIE, MA GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WIT ME BECAUSE I EMBARRASSED ER . FML

#20982712
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44705) - you deserved it (11367)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today... I dropped a $400 bottle of wine while trying to get the cork out. FML

#20982484
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42372) - you deserved it (16223)

On 12/06/2013 at 2:08am - money - by butterfingers - United States (Pennsylvania)



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