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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45759) - you deserved it (5602)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52493) - you deserved it (24848)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (103233) - you deserved it (3353)
On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119189) - you deserved it (5919)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6218) - you deserved it (87344)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51812) - you deserved it (3563)
On 06/07/2009 at 12:49am - money - by AllyCat (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100371) - you deserved it (4570)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100371) - you deserved it (4570)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106234) - you deserved it (5368)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (62947)
On 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by ShamedJP (man) - United States (New York)
Today, after weeks of agonising, I told my best friend (who I am madly in love with) that I love her. She said: "me too, you're like a brother and a best girlfriend rolled into one!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45109) - you deserved it (3578)
On 02/22/2009 at 5:01am - love - by Reaper - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (9323)
On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (240881)
On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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