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hslpltnhzm

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  • Number of visits : 365
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hslpltnhzm's page activity

Visits<b>DisappearingRose</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 9:52pm<b>BFons</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 2:37am<b>countrygirl626</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 6:52pm

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hslpltnhzm's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44377) - you deserved it (9225)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (11410)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (9420)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39546) - you deserved it (6390)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34302) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (4009)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36369) - you deserved it (3239)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44414) - you deserved it (3448)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45811) - you deserved it (25191)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33170) - you deserved it (19066)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26416) - you deserved it (5722)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (3499)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (6296)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (4776)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (1813)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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