About hrg729 : I love lamp.
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hrg729's favorite FMLs
by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML
by Katrin / 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm / Norway / Transportation
by jzappe / 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML
by myBFsucks / 10/05/2011 at 12:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by dmanrique / 10/04/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML
by storksleuth / 10/04/2011 at 4:57am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
by friskeyk14 / 10/04/2011 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML
by sorenips / 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by Username / 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML
by moodyreallyrocks / 10/03/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/02/2011 at 7:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Emmy / 10/02/2011 at 2:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…