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howdoiusername
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  • Number of visits : 1604
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mobility

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howdoiusername's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148323) - you deserved it (22651)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15829) - you deserved it (81126)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9425) - you deserved it (103094)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12220) - you deserved it (61329)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

#242337
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56076) - you deserved it (15816)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

#112568
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9923) - you deserved it (48566)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:41am - health - by kcd (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

#98933
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52645) - you deserved it (3660)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:15pm - health - by Vince (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (26278)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (4450)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51502) - you deserved it (6998)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (2686)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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