howdoiusername

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howdoiusername

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4940
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mobility

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Up and coming moderator

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

howdoiusername's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

by squirty_joe / 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

by kcd / 02/23/2009 at 9:41am / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

by Vince / 02/21/2009 at 8:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

by kprice6 / 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

by / 01/03/2009 at 11:48am / Intimacy