Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

howdoiusername

Search for a member

howdoiusername

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2867
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

howdoiusername's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

howdoiusername's favorite FMLs

today I came ome from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took te ouse and most of te money, sister is seven monts pregnant, broter was arrested fir statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." O, and my fis died. FML

#6989911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86842) - you deserved it (4962)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah boyfriend told me he likes having sex during mah period because it makes him feel lyk he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38892) - you deserved it (4134)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Taday I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappereed to!! My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it 4 her Myspace and said that I deserved it 4 bieng a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome!! FML

#6901032
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (11270)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

TODAY, MY NEW GIRLFRIEND WAS TELLING ME HOW SHE'S ATTRACTD TO "ALL-AMERICAN" LOOKING GUYS. TALL, MANLY BODY, HANDSOME FACE. THEN SHE SAYS, "BUT IT'S OK, YOUR CUTE TOO." FML

#6710252
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (2680)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I'M TRAVELLING TO ENGLAND FOR AN IMPORTANT MEETING . I'M NORWEGIAN, AND MAH NAME IS BÅRD . I HAVE TO INTRODUCE MYSELF AS BORD THE WHOLE DAY, CUZ THAT'S HOW MAH NAME IS PRONOUNCD . FML

#6662033
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31981) - you deserved it (2701)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

2day I was sitting on tha couch with my 5 yaar old on my lap. All of a suddan, sha turnad to ma an said, "Daddy, I lova your boobias. looool Thay'ra a good pillow." My own kid just callad ma fat. FML

#6635379
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (16557)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm - kids - by Bill (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from ma parents' ouse recently. After eating te wole can, I started feeling a little off, so I cecked te expration date. It expred 12 years ago. FML

#6624561
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13796) - you deserved it (33079)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I fine I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

#6580357
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (36424)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08am - work - by WTFFAIL (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girlho was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of mah neck an so I went to the mirror an checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12693) - you deserved it (34336)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology . I see a 'sack'hich appereed to contain a liquid . Being the curious type I cut open the sack spraying said liquid over me and my desk . My teacher after giggling informed me that the liquid was in fact urine . I was pissed on by a dead pig . FML

#6340257
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12414) - you deserved it (35465)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac requred me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, ( It's disturbing how good u r at that. ) real FML

#6186656
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (4822)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

yastarday I was changing mah shrt in tha bathroom whan I droppd it. It fall on mah foot... so I dacidd to flip it up with mah foot instaad of banding down to gat it. I flippd it... and it landd in tha toilat. Which somabody had flushd.

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11780) - you deserved it (30596)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started feeling sick to mah stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen,hich helped for ahile. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles cummed out of mah nose. mega FML

#5927953
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33450) - you deserved it (6741)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I acceptd a great job offer I've been working monts to earn so I can continue to live wit my fiancé ere in Poland . I just found out tat my work visa was denid . Now I ave to fly ome to Canada an reapply before coming back . Tis takes a mont . My new job starts tomorrow . FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: