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howdoiusername's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

#19799986
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (3252)

On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

#19796326
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14526) - you deserved it (20497)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:44am - misc - by sadphonegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (6637)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

#19795334
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (5875)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Cassidy Bowen - United States (California)

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (4067)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33333) - you deserved it (3977)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12728) - you deserved it (23047)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (104553)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8137) - you deserved it (40307)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

#19769177
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (4695)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

#19763954
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8994) - you deserved it (31233)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

#19761767
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6316) - you deserved it (52177)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17213) - you deserved it (57536)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

#19761318
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8938) - you deserved it (24865)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)



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