Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

howdoiusername

Search for a member

howdoiusername

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2093
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

howdoiusername's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

howdoiusername's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (3059)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30807) - you deserved it (3858)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

#19828906
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24699) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm - work - by lynn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
272 comments

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (8442)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

#19812720
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9536) - you deserved it (48097)

On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (2991)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (15135)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (4401)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

#19806714
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10336) - you deserved it (33254)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28606) - you deserved it (2883)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML

#19805072
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (2067)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:39am - work - by Adam Jensen - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, my boss gave me a new assignment at work: go online and look for my own replacement, then interview him. FML

#19800401
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (1777)

On 06/17/2012 at 4:50am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: