About housebox : Honestly I'm a boss! best way to put it!
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housebox's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
by CoolStoryBro / 03/29/2013 at 4:23am / Work
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Work
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 2:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
by fuckyoutoo / 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by theawesome129 / 03/24/2013 at 6:20am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by And I'm still single / 03/24/2013 at 4:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
by DontGetSlapped / 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm / United States (Arkansas) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm / Romania (Cluj) / Work
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex, instead of freaking out, she looked… Today, I met my host family for study abroad. I meant to tell them that I've always wanted a sister… Today, I was starting to jack off with what I thought was lotion. Not long after did I realize that…