This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39311) - you deserved it (5009)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68891) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41919) - you deserved it (2617)
On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28583) - you deserved it (94516)
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (12261)
On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48687) - you deserved it (2867)
On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (4941)
On 04/21/2013 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46554) - you deserved it (5120)
On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52960) - you deserved it (9755)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44657) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38812) - you deserved it (4148)
On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11009) - you deserved it (40193)
On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38135) - you deserved it (8661)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (418)
On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (4582)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
