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Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats & turntable scratches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you totally deserved it (4209)
On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43442) - you totally deserved it (1264)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26970) - you totally deserved it (12890)
On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31501) - you totally deserved it (1563)
On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35367) - you totally deserved it (4648)
On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8976) - you totally deserved it (30865)
On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you totally deserved it (3850)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you totally deserved it (22360)
On 06/19/2009 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30998) - you totally deserved it (11828)
On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (158846) - you totally deserved it (10781)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I put my AIM status on my Current iTunes song. It also does it for videos I don't know. I've downloaded a lot of porn in my iTunes, and I wanted to watch. My status on AIM was "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8261) - you totally deserved it (82252)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107262) - you totally deserved it (27583)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37891) - you totally deserved it (74460)
On 03/25/2009 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Unicron (man) - United States (California)
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