horns69

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Offline (the 12/12/2015 at 9:26am)

horns69

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 February 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1410
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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horns69's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>SecretlyEvil9792</b> - the 08/12/2011 at 5:41pm<b>CarterColbie</b> - the 06/18/2011 at 1:09am<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/01/2011 at 2:51pm<b>anna19</b> - the 04/22/2011 at 10:23am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/23/2011 at 6:03pm<b>Othello22</b> - the 02/23/2011 at 8:03pm<b>ElectricGhost</b> - the 02/21/2011 at 1:41pm<b>Tikwichka</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 8:48pm<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 02/16/2011 at 8:02pm<b>TheNewGuy03</b> - the 02/15/2011 at 5:53am<b>kmwis_00</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 9:35pm<b>pinklover24</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 7:51pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 6:06pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 11:41am<b>LoveLostFound</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 6:07am<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 02/08/2011 at 10:53pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/08/2011 at 8:07pm

horns69's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of horns69's badges

horns69's favorite FMLs

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

by sissydlk / 12/02/2010 at 10:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

by Cantbreath94 / 11/13/2010 at 1:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

by roberto / 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 11:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

by Mic / 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

by ewww / 12/03/2009 at 12:59am / United States (Kentucky) / Health