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horns69

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horns69

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 February 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 851
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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horns69's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>SecretlyEvil9792</b> - the 08/12/2011 at 5:41pm<b>CarterColbie</b> - the 06/18/2011 at 1:09am<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/01/2011 at 2:51pm<b>anna19</b> - the 04/22/2011 at 10:23am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/23/2011 at 6:03pm<b>Othello22</b> - the 02/23/2011 at 8:03pm<b>ElectricGhost</b> - the 02/21/2011 at 1:41pm<b>Tikwichka</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 8:48pm<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 02/16/2011 at 8:02pm<b>TheNewGuy03</b> - the 02/15/2011 at 5:53am<b>kmwis_00</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 9:35pm<b>pinklover24</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 7:51pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 6:06pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 11:41am<b>LoveLostFound</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 6:07am<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 02/08/2011 at 10:53pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/08/2011 at 8:07pm

horns69's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of horns69's badges

horns69's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (5391)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML

#19293533
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (9320)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by noneedtostress - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38279) - you deserved it (2947)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (3372)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11886) - you deserved it (56232)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

#15712381
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43679) - you deserved it (3901)

On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69068) - you deserved it (9545)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54711) - you deserved it (27485)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (53649) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48620) - you deserved it (8006)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

#15411546
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44069) - you deserved it (4302)

On 03/21/2011 at 3:07am - misc - by kelly (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34627) - you deserved it (48596)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46005) - you deserved it (8125)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42378) - you deserved it (9336)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)



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