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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 February 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 726
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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horanforhazza's page activity

Visits<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 2:43pm

horanforhazza's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of horanforhazza's badges

horanforhazza's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

by dating walter white's gf apparently / 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

by nobodylovesme / 04/04/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML

by BornInTheWrongEra / 03/31/2013 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:54am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love