holyfaqballs

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holyfaqballs

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 233
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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holyfaqballs's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

by CoolStoryBro / 03/29/2013 at 4:23am / Work

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

by Username / 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

by Maddie / 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 8:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

by seriously / 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

by Gary / 06/27/2010 at 12:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

by ripfluffy / 09/28/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous