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holyfaqballs

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holyfaqballs

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holyfaqballs's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (111915)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (3174)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64498) - you deserved it (16381)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47326) - you deserved it (6013)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17240) - you deserved it (5777)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49217) - you deserved it (46270)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (5418)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

#16765667
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50908) - you deserved it (5187)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm - love - by Maddie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45943) - you deserved it (8727)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (6140)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (3857)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

#11486568
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (9336)

On 06/27/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Gary - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66799) - you deserved it (9033)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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