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hollatnyc's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 9:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
by OhLovely / 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
by Jenna / 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
by BadGuyLuck / 02/25/2012 at 1:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
by socialdisease / 08/22/2011 at 11:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm / United States / Love
by looloogirl / 11/01/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML
by MalariaFree / 06/14/2009 at 7:08am / Uganda (Kampala) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…
- Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But… Today, I had sex with a guy I met at a party and passed out in his bed. When I woke up at 3 am, he… Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he…