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hogman500

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hogman500

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  • Number of visits : 748
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hogman500's page activity

Visits<b>threer</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:37pm<b>taylor21398</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 6:09am<b>oneofthosegirls</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Knightchaser27</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:50am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:03am<b>jojosch143</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:01pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 7:20pm<b>bettyboop428</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:08pm<b>Anner22</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:54pm<b>Jharrist89</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:15pm

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hogman500's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (9055)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35771) - you deserved it (4387)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (2929)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (7150)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19404) - you deserved it (36979)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35532) - you deserved it (9822)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41066) - you deserved it (15440)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37885) - you deserved it (7893) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (22807)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34048) - you deserved it (3038)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (6815)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39153) - you deserved it (3836)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51981) - you deserved it (7803)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)



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