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hogman500

Offline (the 11/01/2014 at 5:49am) | Search for a member

hogman500

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  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hogman500's page activity

Visits<b>threer</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:37pm<b>taylor21398</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 6:09am<b>oneofthosegirls</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Knightchaser27</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:50am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:03am<b>jojosch143</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:01pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 7:20pm<b>bettyboop428</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:08pm<b>Anner22</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:54pm<b>Jharrist89</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:15pm

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hogman500's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (3467)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (2714)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (8719)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37644) - you deserved it (2243)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36191) - you deserved it (9415)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36780) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36705) - you deserved it (13772)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42269) - you deserved it (4841)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32656) - you deserved it (3010)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46188) - you deserved it (7634)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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