i thank eight pound six ounce newborn infant baby Jesus every time my FML isn't good enough to get posted..
hii my name is jessie.
istillseethesun@aol.com
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you totally deserved it (3289)
On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mother offered me $1.00 for each piece of asparagus I would eat at dinner. I made $14.00. I am 17 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10810) - you totally deserved it (32360)
On 06/02/2009 at 9:58pm - health - by sunburnbaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6473) - you totally deserved it (37769)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by xacked (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you totally deserved it (8272)
On 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43387) - you totally deserved it (11602)
On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37095) - you totally deserved it (11383)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
I agree, your life sucks (53212) - you totally deserved it (24643)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you totally deserved it (5754)
On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (158844) - you totally deserved it (10780)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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