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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1348
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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hiloman500's page activity

Visits<b>laurenada</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 4:22pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 9:39am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 4:38pm<b>totally_not_dan</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:12pm<b>Moonditch</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:05am<b>jenn4376</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:26am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:29am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:02pm<b>thrasher590</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:11pm<b>facelick</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:57pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 1:42am<b>mrunfortunateman</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:42pm<b>ILoveMyIpad1234</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 12:28am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:44pm<b>TinyAsianMan</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:45am<b>kill_cam13</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:36am<b>cats400</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:44am

hiloman500's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hiloman500's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

by nen_00 / 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

by ksgirl / 09/12/2009 at 3:39am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML

by TankTankTank / 09/11/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

by doctorchick / 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

by ohmyx3 / 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" for the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML

by EmmaG123 / 02/28/2009 at 12:54am / United States (Kansas) / Kids