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Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (6422)
On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10630) - you deserved it (35851)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (12350)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (2982)
On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (3401)
On 11/21/2010 at 9:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (33103)
On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (7502)
On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States
Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20921) - you deserved it (9752)
On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11059) - you deserved it (31961)
On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32911) - you deserved it (2731)
On 06/05/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by someoneelsessaliva (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (3465)
On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11492) - you deserved it (5620)
On 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (1878)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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