hilda_kitty

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Offline (the 03/22/2016 at 12:49am)

hilda_kitty

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2404
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About hilda_kitty : Roses are red
Bacon is also red
Poems are hard
Bacon

Send me a message, I'm lonely.

hilda_kitty's page activity

Visits<b>Jamer99</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 2:27am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 2:40pm<b>xyris</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 4:25pm<b>DataRomance</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:31am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:36am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:09am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:23pm<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:38pm<b>bmhampt91</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:02pm<b>ZomBSlayR</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:53pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:45am<b>theswanlake</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 5:12am<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:53pm<b>nickdailey</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:57pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 1:15am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:39am<b>icyconix</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:18am<b>Count_Sekcpants</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:11am

Fucked!<b>DataRomance</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:31am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:10am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:23pm

hilda_kitty's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of hilda_kitty's badges

hilda_kitty's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

by Angry and Confused / 06/29/2013 at 5:55am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

by soaked / 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

by oh ffs / 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

by FuckMyEyes / 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 7:36am / United States (Delaware) / Health

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

by fet / 08/23/2012 at 10:30am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm / Health

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy