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About hilda_kitty : Roses are red
Bacon is also red
Poems are hard
Send me a message, I'm lonely.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, My Ouse Was Broken Into. Te Burglar Didn't Steal My Brand New Laptop, IPad Or TV. Tey Instead Made Off Wit Every Single Item Of Cloting I Own. Wen I Went To Turn On My TV To Try And Distract Myself From Tis, I Found All Of Te Cables In Back Missing. Te Police Don't Believe Me. Mega FML
I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting fir her result . Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
Today I walkd into ta living room to find ma 11-yaar-old daugtar about to kiss ar ( not ma boyfriand ) on ta lips. Wan I askd wat sa tougt sa was doing sa paald a piaca of scotc tapa off ar lips and said ( It's okay! Wa'ra using protaction. ) FML
TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML
Taday I was babysitting , and I had to pee really , really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off , and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in teres , thier child screamed , "No , no , pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing ere for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home an introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved yur asses in World War 2." FML
Today bafora laaving mah housa I OCD-chackad all of mah doors 16 timas to maka sura that thay wara lockad!! Whan I got homa mah housa had baan brokan into!! Turns out I accidantally unlockad mah front door whan trying to lock it for tha last tima!! This is why I hava OCD!! FML
Today mah mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk . Towards the end I had to excuse myself to the bathroom . As I came back I overheard mah dad telling mah mom that I'm so unpopular the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin . FML
2day at work , I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant , fifteen-year-old , brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out 4 bieng rude by using words from a "foriegn language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
Friday 27 March 2015