About hilda_kitty : Roses are red
Bacon is also red
Poems are hard
Bacon
Send me a message, I'm lonely.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58102) - you deserved it (8181)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53829) - you deserved it (7633)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68964) - you deserved it (3078)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (2557)
On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (5214)
On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (1612)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States
Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14838) - you deserved it (2396)
On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (3067)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12618) - you deserved it (21539)
On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (5452) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (9833)
On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13815) - you deserved it (25298)
On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23400) - you deserved it (7924)
On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (9660)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11082) - you deserved it (17559)
On 08/19/2010 at 7:25am - misc - by FreeToFly3733 - Canada (New Brunswick)
Friday 24 May 2013
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