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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (2769)
On 08/12/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5372) - you deserved it (17319)
On 03/12/2010 at 11:55am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14729) - you deserved it (1862)
On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (2569)
On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (12290)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7913) - you deserved it (57436)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!". I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I don't think I'm fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47408) - you deserved it (5329)
On 04/26/2009 at 5:47am - misc - by TheRawrza (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54610) - you deserved it (11512)
On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (15680)
On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (3203)
On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband “Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home”. He looks at me, and says: “Well… we are at home.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (10356) - you deserved it (44699)
On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML
I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (4036)
On 11/06/2008 at 4:38am - love - by Rolax - Sent from mobile version
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60232) - you deserved it (3560)
On 10/27/2008 at 5:08am - love - by damnit - United States (Texas)
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