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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
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heynow09

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heynow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18400
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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heynow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML

#1925712 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (46059) - you deserved it (10928)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

#1401975 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (56835) - you deserved it (4334)

On 04/27/2009 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by tara22 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

#919205 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (3581)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

#761091 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (68906) - you deserved it (4294)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:09am - work - by olalala2382 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (107196) - you deserved it (5602)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (135595)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (74122) - you deserved it (12054)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a phone call from my mother asking me if I was okay. Confused, I asked her what she meant. She then told me that my boyfriend had broken up with me, and she just wanted to make sure I was handling it alright. I had to find out my relationship was over from my mom. FML

#171307 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (59713) - you deserved it (2272)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:02pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (52062) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)