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heyitsrachel

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heyitsrachel
  • Town/Country : Plainview, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 November 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 507
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heyitsrachel's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24773) - you deserved it (4412)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

#17177469
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (8276)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm - animals - by craphanded - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (3534)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (11346)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML

#9950878
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9949) - you deserved it (39516)

On 04/17/2010 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by BoobSicle (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

#8994510
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19343) - you deserved it (2197)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hillingdon)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (7376)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34637) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (8794)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (2694)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12060) - you deserved it (35150)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (87784)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49420) - you deserved it (598631)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

#6753
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4810) - you deserved it (60177)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by WestboroBC (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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