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heyitsrachel

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heyitsrachel
  • Town/Country : Plainview, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 November 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 305
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15771) - you deserved it (2869)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

#20093027
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (1315)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

#20092439
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10600) - you deserved it (6778)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5338) - you deserved it (19754)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5338) - you deserved it (19754)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23006) - you deserved it (4572)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16270) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (1639)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14658) - you deserved it (1602)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

#19982859
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (1064)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by arw - United States

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19139) - you deserved it (1402)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

#19967913
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5571) - you deserved it (10740)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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