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heyitsgreg's page activity

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heyitsgreg's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (233957)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (72529) - you deserved it (5358)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML


I agree, your life sucks (124421) - you deserved it (7810)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (152497)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (299056)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (192843) - you deserved it (13280)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18084) - you deserved it (74415)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22616) - you deserved it (73479)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (77462) - you deserved it (299264)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

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