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heyitsgreg

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heyitsgreg

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  • Number of visits : 663
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>fudgerama</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:23pm<b>greenie213</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 3:21pm<b>vflores</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 11:54pm<b>michman3030</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 11:15pm<b>stephkristine</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 11:03pm<b>Iris_Rusu</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 2:46pm<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 11:06pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:57pm

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50 favourites

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heyitsgreg's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (6288)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10930) - you deserved it (51128)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

#9645798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31312) - you deserved it (9157)

On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (6954)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24923) - you deserved it (7674)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML

#8230372
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (2832)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - health - by dogbait - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2610)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42249) - you deserved it (11944)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

#6431680
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8404) - you deserved it (24625)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML

#6095339
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (3424)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87628) - you deserved it (14647)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

#5582438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (6109)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45325) - you deserved it (4278)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (36667)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

#4662087
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52076) - you deserved it (7003)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)



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