About heyguysitsjosh : I hate drunks. I hate drug addicts. I hate swag fags. I have fairly low morals so I usually post what I want. I don't take anything on the internet seriously so don't try to hard to insult me. Happy Easter.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14785) - you deserved it (2019)
On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14133) - you deserved it (1587)
On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (2301)
On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6894) - you deserved it (38194)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23901) - you deserved it (3301)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15476) - you deserved it (2223)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (116) - you deserved it (2722)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (1616)
On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47420) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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