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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (45818)
On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (32186)
On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States
Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (9198)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (4607)
On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33916) - you deserved it (6116)
On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (54709)
On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (182147) - you deserved it (25549)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (9246)
On 06/20/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by mk (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (361442) - you deserved it (67422)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38073) - you deserved it (5898)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (3542)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (233240) - you deserved it (22620)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -
Monday 17 June 2013
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