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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (19189)
On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43879) - you deserved it (2115)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to a club with my friends. I told my mom that I was going to come back home at 3:00 a.m. At 3:15 a.m., my mom comes to the club, with 2 cops, wearing pyjamas, shouting my name and telling me to come back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45468) - you deserved it (17170)
On 07/19/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by marcelop - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (61468) - you deserved it (5837)
On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11294) - you deserved it (35394)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38618) - you deserved it (5001)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36799) - you deserved it (6876)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32503) - you deserved it (10894)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32503) - you deserved it (10894)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30684) - you deserved it (3689)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (5025)
On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50394) - you deserved it (2551)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by hockey9797 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
I agree, your life sucks (10398) - you deserved it (55113)
On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49230) - you deserved it (2513)
On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (12990)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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