heygirlheyyyyy

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heygirlheyyyyy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34414
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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heygirlheyyyyy's page activity

Visits<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:13am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 9:18pm<b>pharaohasphuck</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 7:29pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:01am<b>melons</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 8:03pm<b>mikeding</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 11:23pm<b>motion_legacy</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 4:55pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:49am<b>ariddleintongues</b> - the 08/31/2009 at 11:32pm<b>Mr_Tuff_Guy</b> - the 07/26/2009 at 7:06pm<b>Jehanne</b> - the 06/29/2009 at 5:41am<b>tjd13</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 7:36pm<b>vdrummer7</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 6:51pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 2:46pm<b>earl_125</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 12:44am<b>AlexZB</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 10:52pm<b>814CKxK1D</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 7:22pm<b>surfbumm</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 2:22am

heygirlheyyyyy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

heygirlheyyyyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

by overachiever / 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

by joedoe / 07/18/2009 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

by Divorcemenow / 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

by joe1234 / 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

by porkeater / 07/16/2009 at 11:02am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

by porkeater / 07/16/2009 at 11:02am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

by shway / 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

by hockey9797 / 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 12:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

by homedoggieo / 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

by pkstarstorm / 07/14/2009 at 2:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

by iJehx / 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

by greek_dancer / 07/13/2009 at 1:14am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous