Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

heyBIANCA

Search for a member

heyBIANCA
  • Town/Country : Q.L.D, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1079
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

heyBIANCA's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

heyBIANCA's favorite FMLs

Today, I was excited about showing off my new haircut. All my friends thought it looked really good and it made me look older. What did my boyfriend think? He said I look like a little girl and he was afraid to kiss me in public because he didn't want someone to think he was a pedophile. FML

#3232883
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40788) - you deserved it (6527)

On 06/26/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by stupidgirlll - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63022) - you deserved it (37026)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

#3211870
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (67930)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

#3188725
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (6137)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

#3173139
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (10185)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by feelinnauseous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

#3173139
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (10185)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by feelinnauseous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied "even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

#3164567
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48923) - you deserved it (2444)

On 06/24/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66479) - you deserved it (4550)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11010) - you deserved it (64017)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (53467)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112192) - you deserved it (6848)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100434) - you deserved it (4280)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

#2734001
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43103) - you deserved it (7623)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML

#2711577
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (61458)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:32am - intimacy - by levit (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: