This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, my friend and I drove three hours to attend a U2 concert. We had been psyched about the tickets for weeks because they were awesome seats (my early Christmas present). After a long drive, we get to the venue and I realize in horror that I left tickets at home, on my desk, three hours away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9225) - you totally deserved it (28058)
On 10/10/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by sostupid - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3761) - you totally deserved it (27893)
On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you totally deserved it (2358)
On 10/06/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by roomie487 - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you totally deserved it (4460)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you totally deserved it (5326)
On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you totally deserved it (1610)
On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9831) - you totally deserved it (3482)
On 10/04/2009 at 7:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidently called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3907) - you totally deserved it (15040)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2284) - you totally deserved it (9037)
On 09/25/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Dumbfuck (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13334) - you totally deserved it (2341)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13610) - you totally deserved it (1761)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38137) - you totally deserved it (2284)
On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokemon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokemon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10423) - you totally deserved it (47571)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4564) - you totally deserved it (29883)
On 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm - work - by shayes9 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55929) - you totally deserved it (3558)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
